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The Marriage Quiz

The Marriage Quiz

By Phil Callaway
 


The following quiz is intended solely for the amusement of mature married couples. Keep in mind that quiz results should not be brought up during petty arguments or in front of the children. Please answer the questions honestly, bearing in mind that while it is impossible to fail this test, your answers may determine whether or not you spend the night on the couch.

1. When you are wrong, you will admit it to your partner:
  1. Within seconds
  2. Just as soon as cows produce root beer
  3. Usually before sunset
2. On your most recent vacation, you:
  1. Strolled sun-soaked beaches barefoot, basking in the glow of each other's eyes
  2. Left messages on each other's answering machines
  3. Had to come home for a rest
3. Complete this sentence: I believe the Children of Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years because:
  1. God was testing their marriages
  2. Moses wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land once they got there
  3. Moses refused to ask his wife for directions
4. When you're watching TV together, who controls the remote?
  1. We do not watch television; we go for walks and talk about our feelings
  2. I do
  3. Whoever gets there first
5. The food which best sums up your spouse's kiss is:
  1. Jumpin' jalapeno hot wings
  2. Airline omelette
  3. Hot apple pie
6. The movie title, which best sums up our lovemaking is:
  1. Some Like It Hot
  2. Gone With The Wind
  3. As Good As It Gets
7. (For men only:) You are on your knees giving thanks for the new purchase, a late model minivan, complete with DVD player when your frenzied wife calls from Biff's Auto Repair saying she has totalled the van. You:
  1. Ask if she's OK
  2. Total the telephone
  3. Ask if she's OK…and if the DVD player still works
8. (For women only) After a particularly tough day, your husband has crashed in front of the TV. You decide to:
  1. Stand beside the TV set and try on lingerie
  2. Sneak into the bedroom and put fiberglass insulation in his pyjamas
  3. Pour two tall ginger ales and crash with him
9. Your definition of communication is:
  1. I am attentive to my partner's communication needs. I listen well and share openly my thoughts, aspirations, and feelings
  2. Nintendo
  3. Sorry, I was distracted. Could you repeat the question?
10. (For men only) Sunday morning has arrived, but your wife has not. She is still moving about the house checking on appliances—despite the fact that you are once again late for church. While waiting in the car with the children, you decide to:
  1. Return to the house and ask, “Is there anything I can do to help you, dear? I know I traumatized you this morning by bringing breakfast in bed a little late. I certainly do apologize”
  2. Leave without her
  3. Help the kids with their memory verses and somehow resist the urge to honk
11. It's 12:30 a.m. and neither of you can sleep. Your spouse says, “Honey, I'm hungry, would you get me a slice of cheese?” You say:
  1. “Is that all, Sweetheart? How about a salad with croutons?”
  2. “Zzzzzzzzzzzzz”
  3. “How thick shall I slice it?”
 
How to score: If you answered “A” more than six times, thanks for taking this quiz on your honeymoon. If you found yourself gravitating to the “B” responses, please take an Aspirin and read the rest of this publication three times. Also…find a soft pillow. It's time to sleep on the couch. If you chose “C” five or more times, you've got a good thing going. Sounds like some flexibility, lots of laughter, and a servant heart are keeping your marriage fresh.

Visit Phil Callaway at www.laughagain.org


About the Author:  Phil Callaway


 
Phil Callaway